Bob Rakestraw
This is a continuation of my previous blog of December 31, 2009, in which I wrote of six persons whom God has used significantly in shaping my character and mind. Here are six others to complete the list. The twelve are in a roughly chronological order. May God be eternally praised for bringing these individuals into my life.
7. Bernard Engevik. My father-in-law. Weather-beaten farmer from northern Minnesota. Lived in the house where he was born until age 50, when he and his wife, Blanche, answered God’s call to move to the mountains of southern California. Bernard served as an unpaid maintenance worker and counselor at a rustic Lutheran youth retreat, and as a volunteer caretaker at a nearby county park, which provided housing for the family. By faith he left the cattle and the land he loved so much, after auctioning off his equipment and saying goodbye to his lifetime friends and neighbors. Bernard and Blanche were the parents of 11 children (three in heaven) and three foster children. I knew Bernard for forty years, and learned from him—by observation—how to live joyfully, consistently, kindly (always helping others unselfishly), uncomplainingly, and with an unflappable trust in God to provide all his needs and those of his family. It is this last quality that has influenced me most. While he worked diligently at various jobs to support the family, he earned very little. Yet he simply did not worry. He lived a life of daily Bible study, daily prayer, cheerful service wherever he saw a need, and faithfulness to his Lord, his wife, his children, and all who knew him and loved him. Possessing little, he possessed all things.
8. Carl Hoch (pronounced Hoke). One of the New Testament professors in my Master of Arts program in Biblical Literature. His main contribution to my life has been his exacting, enthusiastic, contagious exegetical skill in the languages and literature of the Bible, especially the New Testament. Dr. Hoch was a master of the Greek language, and was very skillful in the Hebrew as well, yet he treated us graduate students with kindness and respect for our limited abilities with the biblical text. Carl Hoch sought the truth above all else and he was not afraid to point out erroneous ideas or conclusions from any mishandling of the scriptures. As he frowned, sniffed and pushed his glasses up on his nose with his finger, we his students knew he was thinking through a deep point. And we loved him for it.
9. Clark Pinnock. Theologian. Seminary Professor. Mentor. Friend. From 1970 to 1980 I was not in school. I finished my M.A. in 1970 and did not start my Ph.D. studies until 1980. But, while serving God as a college professor and a pastor during those years, I learned much. I devoured literature (books, magazines, journals) on biblical studies, theology, ethics and related topics. My most important mentor during this decade of independent learning was Clark Pinnock, a tall, red-headed Canadian with a keen intellect and a passion for showing the relevance of high-quality Christian scholarship (and thus the gospel) for today’s society. I rarely saw Clark during these years (I saw him considerably more after 1980), but he was highly influential in my life, especially in two areas. First was his leadership and involvement in the Theological Students Fellowship, especially through conferences and writings (articles, book reviews, informative and encouraging notes) in TSF Bulletin or its predecessor, TSF News and Reviews. In these years my eyes and mind were opened very wide to many rich and varied areas of advanced evangelical scholarship. I thirsted for the excitement of careful, dynamic thinking packaged for the education of younger-generation scholars like me. Second was Clark’s personal testimony and writings of his well thought-out move from a Calvinistic doctrine of salvation (with its views of a limited atonement and unconditional selection of everyone to either heaven or hell, before birth apart from anything foreseen). His 1975 edited book, Grace Unlimited, blew the door wide open for me to breathe the fresh, invigorating air of a robust, biblical, gracious, non-arbitrary view of God’s way of redemption. (I have, however, many dear Calvinistic friends; I greatly respect them and their passion for God’s truth.) Since 1980, Pinnock’s views have changed considerably, especially in his understanding of scriptural accuracy and the “openness” of God. While I do not follow Clark in these and some other approaches to theology, I will always regard him as a powerful influence in my life as a scholar, mentor and friend. Thanks, Clark.
10. Norman Geisler. Apologist. Seminary Professor. Voluminous writer. Major influence in my intellectual development during my decade of independent learning (1970-1980) referred to above. Geisler wrote significant, scholarly, readable works (some that I used as textbooks for my students) in biblical studies, ethics, philosophy of religion, and apologetics. Each of his books tackles highly relevant material and is well organized, carefully argued and clearly written. His Ethics: Alternatives and Issues appeared in 1971, and I devoured it. I was not teaching ethics at the time, and never had taken a substantial course in ethics, but I knew this was an area I needed to learn. I have always appreciated authors who are able to introduce a topic with a helpful typology and methodology, and present fairly the arguments for and against each position. Geisler offers these qualities in his books, and I have learned most from his overall pattern of reasoning and writing rather than from his specific points. In fact, I never have embraced his approach to seemingly conflicting moral absolutes (I hold, contrary to Geisler, that God’s moral absolutes never truly conflict, although they certainly appear to at times). So, while I disagree with Geisler in a number of areas in theology and ethics, I respect him highly and am thankful for his major influence upon me and upon many thousands of students and laypersons in their quests for truth grounded in the Word of God. I also am grateful to Norm for his spending time with me years ago in Dallas, as we sat at the counter of a local eating spot, sharing delicious Vietnamese spring rolls (he paid). Thank you, Norm.
11. Bruce Petersen. Pastor. Teacher. Vietnam Vet. Carpenter. Servant. Friend. Bruce has been my senior pastor since 1988, at Bethany Baptist Church of Roseville, Minnesota. He started in this position in 1981, and will reach the 30-year mark next year. Before that he was an English teacher and a youth pastor, and had built his own house. There are many qualities about Bruce that, together, have worked for good in our church and in my life. He is a very thoughtful and devout preacher, teacher and counselor, and is always biblically grounded in what he says. He is a careful, open-minded (in the best sense of the word) scholar, who seeks the mind of God on whatever topic or text he is studying. (Scholarship and spirituality are unfortunately, often separated, in contrast to Bruce’s wholistic Christianity.) His faithfulness to God and his consistency in the task of shepherding the flock of God, even through some very difficult times in the life of the church, have impressed me greatly. I believe that many (perhaps most) pastors would have resigned under similar circumstances. Most of all it has been Bruce’s giving spirit and servant heart, combined with a lack of pomposity, that have influenced me. He serves wherever he sees a need, whether laying carpet in a poor parishioner’s home, cleaning someone’s basement, cooking for church gatherings, or (along with his devoted wife, Julie) offering hospitality to many. Thank you, Bruce, for your personal integrity and faithful ministry. I am a much better man because of you.
12. Jerry Osbron. Missionary. Pastor. Teacher. Friend. Jerry and his recently deceased wife, Barb, served for nearly 40 years as missionaries in the Philippines. They had a very significant ministry of pastoring, teaching and discipling the people under their care. Their works and words live on among the thriving local churches they helped plant and nurture. I came to know Jerry especially after he retired from foreign mission service and began serving at Bethany Baptist as our associate pastor. I have always been grateful for Jerry’s steady, consistent, faithful way of life and ministry. He commits himself to our church family and always “shows up,” whether the group or meeting attracts only a few or a large number. He serves unselfishly and joyfully. Jerry has a nice balance of “wit and wisdom.” His wit comes out now and then with a quip or joke that lightens the atmosphere. His wisdom is evident especially in church meetings—small or large. He never injects his thoughts unnecessarily, but speaks as the need arises, always with mature words based upon scripture and a lifetime of experience. He is a well-organized teacher and preacher, and always presents God’s truth with conviction. The area in which Jerry has most influenced me is in his endurance. Without evident irritability, he lives and serves patiently and positively. His trust is in God, not in himself or in luck. Over the years I have witnessed Jerry endure some very difficult experiences. Barb’s health trials, his own medical issues (blindness or near blindness in these later years), serious difficulties facing his children and their families—in all of these hard circumstances, Jerry has been a strong example for me to “endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.” Many thanks, Jerry!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
How Did I Get This Way? - Part I
Bob Rakestraw
On this last day of 2009 I want to begin writing about the twelve individuals who have most shaped me into the person I am today. Of course God is the ultimate shaper of our lives, and I give him all the glory for whatever good he has accomplished in me and through me. But God works through circumstances, through our personal decisions, through his own sovereign activity in us, and through people.
I do not idolize these individuals, but I do respect them highly. Six—possibly seven—have died, and most of the twelve influenced/inspired/impacted me primarily in the earlier years of my life—up to my mid-forties. (One lesson to all of us from this latter point is to be eager to spend time with youth and young adults. They are sometimes highly influenced by experiences with and around us.)
I am writing this piece partly to honor these persons, but even more to encourage you and me to live our lives in such a way that we will have a lasting impact for good on others. With some of these I have spent a great amount of personal time, while with others I have had only brief encounters. But all of them, at significant times in my life, were used greatly by God, whether or not they ever realized this. Three are relatives, four have been my teachers, two are scholars (as well as teachers of others), one was a missionary-scholar, and two are current pastors of mine (one of whom was a longtime missionary).
My sketches will need to be brief, but I could write much more about each one, with numerous incidents and specifics. I could easily have compiled a “top twenty” or “top thirty” list. So many others, in addition to these, have helped make me who I am. Thank you sincerely—all of you, whether listed here or not—for who you are and how you have lived. It has been your person, passion and character, as well as your deeds, that God has used to inspire and shape me.
1. Arthur Rakestraw. My father. Quite rough around the edges. Strong convictions. John Wayne type. Left the last of his foster homes at age 14 and rode the rails out west until age 30. Loved the outdoors/natural world (“I love every blade of grass,” he told me on his deathbed), classical music, and God. Very honest and sincere. Came to Christ at age 50, after praying: “God, if only I had a simple faith.” A gruesome news account in the newspaper shocked him most into seeing his and this world’s need for God. Taught me by example to work hard (landscaping, tree work) from the age of nine or ten. The biggest single influence in my coming to Christ at age 19, by encouraging me to read the New Testament after I refused to read any of his “heretical” literature.
2. Brian Miller. My high school math teacher, and the reason why math was my favorite subject in high school. A Franciscan priest, he had very high standards and expected his students to work hard. When I was doing poorly in trigonometry, I worked long and hard for about three weeks to get up to speed. He noted my rather dramatic improvement and mentioned it to the class as an example for others. This academic experience impacted me greatly, and all of my life I have seen how the human will, through a period of concentrated, expectant hard work and practice, can master what seems impossible.
3. Ruth Dearing. My first Bible teacher in an academic setting. When I arrived as a new Christian at Prairie Bible College in Alberta, Canada, at the age of nineteen, I began my studies in Ruth Dearing’s Bible 101. She took the whole year, three days a week, to cover Genesis to Song of Solomon. She was not an innovative teacher (lectured to a room of 300 students) but was consistent, devout, a careful student of the Word, and very tough in her grading standards. It was this last factor in particular that God used to prompt me to return for my second year at Prairie (and thus to get to know the woman who would one day be my wife). After rigorous high school classes, followed by two years of pre-medical studies, I was turned off by the easy courses at Prairie. But because Ruth Dearing would be teaching another course the next year, I returned to Prairie. My four years as a student there became the most formational in my Christian life.
4. Judy Rakestraw. Formerly Judy Engevik. My beloved wife since 1967. More than any person I have ever met, Judy has been the single most influential person in my life. She is the most unselfish and consistently godly person I have known. A farm girl, the second oldest of eight children, she is a hard worker, very bright and a true Christ-follower. Still a relatively “young” (four-and-a-half years) Christian when we married, I basically learned how to live the Christian life daily by being around Judy. I wasn’t conscious of “observing” or “imitating” Judy, but as day after day, year after year, went by, I learned from Judy patience and kindness above all. Gratitude, contentment, adaptability, and sincere love for people are further qualities of this five-foot, red-headed, gently powerful woman.
5. L.E. Maxwell. Founder, President and long-time teacher at Prairie Bible College, Three Hills, Alberta, Canada. I sat under his teaching and regular Sunday preaching for four years as a student at Prairie, and after several years away for more education I served five years on the Prairie faculty, teaching Bible and preaching. Maxwell’s main contribution to my life and ministry, even though I barely knew him personally, was his animated, passionate, scripturally-based, piercing preaching and teaching. It was not simply that he was always robust and interesting in his delivery (both in the pulpit and the classroom), but more that his content was powerfully illustrated and applied. He was a master of the memorable quotation and the contemporary illustration—often from those he knew on the mission field—and drove home relentlessly his teachings on “death to self,” the “crucified life,” and the needs of a lost world. The sermons and lessons of L.E. Maxwell brought conviction to me, but also remarkable role-modeling for a lifetime of preaching.
6. Francis Steele. Missionary-Scholar. First-rate specialist in ancient Near Eastern studies. Highly respected among scholars in his field. Moved from academic to missionary service with the (formerly named) North Africa Mission. I came to know Dr. Steele while a student at Prairie, where he visited from time to time as a representative of the mission. He impressed me greatly with his calm, compassionate and informative presentation of the need in one of the toughest mission fields in the world. He did not plead, but urged students to consider service with NAM. His major impact on me came out of his blending of missionary zeal and high-level Semitic studies. I saw not only the great need in North Africa but also that mission and academics need not, and should not, conflict. All my life I have been struck by God’s high call to mission for every Christ-follower, and to keep the ends of the earth and the ends of my street continually in focus. One final point: When Dr. Steele was little, a relative accidentally gave him lye for medicine. This permanently damaged his vocal cords, but as a result he learned to speak Arabic perfectly, able to make the precise guttural sounds that are so difficult for Westerners to learn.
(In the next posting I will discuss the remaining six individuals.)
On this last day of 2009 I want to begin writing about the twelve individuals who have most shaped me into the person I am today. Of course God is the ultimate shaper of our lives, and I give him all the glory for whatever good he has accomplished in me and through me. But God works through circumstances, through our personal decisions, through his own sovereign activity in us, and through people.
I do not idolize these individuals, but I do respect them highly. Six—possibly seven—have died, and most of the twelve influenced/inspired/impacted me primarily in the earlier years of my life—up to my mid-forties. (One lesson to all of us from this latter point is to be eager to spend time with youth and young adults. They are sometimes highly influenced by experiences with and around us.)
I am writing this piece partly to honor these persons, but even more to encourage you and me to live our lives in such a way that we will have a lasting impact for good on others. With some of these I have spent a great amount of personal time, while with others I have had only brief encounters. But all of them, at significant times in my life, were used greatly by God, whether or not they ever realized this. Three are relatives, four have been my teachers, two are scholars (as well as teachers of others), one was a missionary-scholar, and two are current pastors of mine (one of whom was a longtime missionary).
My sketches will need to be brief, but I could write much more about each one, with numerous incidents and specifics. I could easily have compiled a “top twenty” or “top thirty” list. So many others, in addition to these, have helped make me who I am. Thank you sincerely—all of you, whether listed here or not—for who you are and how you have lived. It has been your person, passion and character, as well as your deeds, that God has used to inspire and shape me.
1. Arthur Rakestraw. My father. Quite rough around the edges. Strong convictions. John Wayne type. Left the last of his foster homes at age 14 and rode the rails out west until age 30. Loved the outdoors/natural world (“I love every blade of grass,” he told me on his deathbed), classical music, and God. Very honest and sincere. Came to Christ at age 50, after praying: “God, if only I had a simple faith.” A gruesome news account in the newspaper shocked him most into seeing his and this world’s need for God. Taught me by example to work hard (landscaping, tree work) from the age of nine or ten. The biggest single influence in my coming to Christ at age 19, by encouraging me to read the New Testament after I refused to read any of his “heretical” literature.
2. Brian Miller. My high school math teacher, and the reason why math was my favorite subject in high school. A Franciscan priest, he had very high standards and expected his students to work hard. When I was doing poorly in trigonometry, I worked long and hard for about three weeks to get up to speed. He noted my rather dramatic improvement and mentioned it to the class as an example for others. This academic experience impacted me greatly, and all of my life I have seen how the human will, through a period of concentrated, expectant hard work and practice, can master what seems impossible.
3. Ruth Dearing. My first Bible teacher in an academic setting. When I arrived as a new Christian at Prairie Bible College in Alberta, Canada, at the age of nineteen, I began my studies in Ruth Dearing’s Bible 101. She took the whole year, three days a week, to cover Genesis to Song of Solomon. She was not an innovative teacher (lectured to a room of 300 students) but was consistent, devout, a careful student of the Word, and very tough in her grading standards. It was this last factor in particular that God used to prompt me to return for my second year at Prairie (and thus to get to know the woman who would one day be my wife). After rigorous high school classes, followed by two years of pre-medical studies, I was turned off by the easy courses at Prairie. But because Ruth Dearing would be teaching another course the next year, I returned to Prairie. My four years as a student there became the most formational in my Christian life.
4. Judy Rakestraw. Formerly Judy Engevik. My beloved wife since 1967. More than any person I have ever met, Judy has been the single most influential person in my life. She is the most unselfish and consistently godly person I have known. A farm girl, the second oldest of eight children, she is a hard worker, very bright and a true Christ-follower. Still a relatively “young” (four-and-a-half years) Christian when we married, I basically learned how to live the Christian life daily by being around Judy. I wasn’t conscious of “observing” or “imitating” Judy, but as day after day, year after year, went by, I learned from Judy patience and kindness above all. Gratitude, contentment, adaptability, and sincere love for people are further qualities of this five-foot, red-headed, gently powerful woman.
5. L.E. Maxwell. Founder, President and long-time teacher at Prairie Bible College, Three Hills, Alberta, Canada. I sat under his teaching and regular Sunday preaching for four years as a student at Prairie, and after several years away for more education I served five years on the Prairie faculty, teaching Bible and preaching. Maxwell’s main contribution to my life and ministry, even though I barely knew him personally, was his animated, passionate, scripturally-based, piercing preaching and teaching. It was not simply that he was always robust and interesting in his delivery (both in the pulpit and the classroom), but more that his content was powerfully illustrated and applied. He was a master of the memorable quotation and the contemporary illustration—often from those he knew on the mission field—and drove home relentlessly his teachings on “death to self,” the “crucified life,” and the needs of a lost world. The sermons and lessons of L.E. Maxwell brought conviction to me, but also remarkable role-modeling for a lifetime of preaching.
6. Francis Steele. Missionary-Scholar. First-rate specialist in ancient Near Eastern studies. Highly respected among scholars in his field. Moved from academic to missionary service with the (formerly named) North Africa Mission. I came to know Dr. Steele while a student at Prairie, where he visited from time to time as a representative of the mission. He impressed me greatly with his calm, compassionate and informative presentation of the need in one of the toughest mission fields in the world. He did not plead, but urged students to consider service with NAM. His major impact on me came out of his blending of missionary zeal and high-level Semitic studies. I saw not only the great need in North Africa but also that mission and academics need not, and should not, conflict. All my life I have been struck by God’s high call to mission for every Christ-follower, and to keep the ends of the earth and the ends of my street continually in focus. One final point: When Dr. Steele was little, a relative accidentally gave him lye for medicine. This permanently damaged his vocal cords, but as a result he learned to speak Arabic perfectly, able to make the precise guttural sounds that are so difficult for Westerners to learn.
(In the next posting I will discuss the remaining six individuals.)
Monday, November 30, 2009
Who Needs You Most?
Bob Rakestraw
I assume that most of you reading this desire to help others. I hope all of you do. In our better moments, at least, most of us want to do acts of mercy and kindness, and want to see justice prevail on earth. For all who are serious disciples of Jesus, or long to be, the tugs on our hearts are especially persistent and varied. This is good, and reflects our Father’s heart of compassion, outreach, reconciliation, and blessings toward all people, both now and forever.
There is no question in my mind that you are needed to help the needy, even though I may never have met you. I say this for two reasons: conditions around you and around the world, and your unique qualities and abilities. Malnutrition, oppression, cruelty, sickness and anguish of every kind—these circumstances (possibly much closer to you and me than we realize) cry out for someone to come into their midst bringing justice and showing mercy.
The English word “need” has descended through a background of an Indo-European term meaning “to collapse with weariness” and a Welsh term meaning “starvation.” The hurts and longings of people everywhere demonstrate that you are needed—urgently.
The second reason you are needed is because of your unique qualities and abilities. Every person is different from every other person. It is not always flattery or hyperbole when someone says “you are unique.” It’s true of everyone. Your character, personality, skills, and, most of all—in believers—your hunger for truth, righteousness and God himself makes you just the right person to help specific people in specific situations.
The Bible says that all followers of Jesus Christ have gifts that are to be used in the church and in the world (Romans 12:1-13; 1 Corinthians 12:1-11; 1 Peter 4:7-11). Many of you reading this have some idea of your primary gift. God does not want this to be a great mystery, but wants to reveal to you how you are especially suited to serve. I generally tell people to ask three questions about a gift or skill they think they may have:
(1) Do you enjoy using this gift?
(2) Have others said that you seem to have this gift?
(3) Have you seen fruit (evidence; good results) when you use this gift?
If so, then continue to develop and use this gift to meet the needs on this crying planet. You are a gifted person, and you yourself are a gift!
But, who needs you the most? Should your decision be influenced by geography (do the “neediest” nations require you most?), family or acquaintances (should you help those you know best?), or the heinousness of the evil you wish to eradicate (human trafficking, for example)? Or is your local church where you are needed most?
I have no precise scientific formula or series of tests to lead you to the ministry and people who need you most. The best thing to do is to look around you right now, while keeping your eyes and heart open to the ends of the earth. Begin somewhere, somehow, if only by making a phone call or visit to some needy person. Perhaps work with a group where your skills are combined with those of others. And always think of the needs in your local church.
To answer our original question: you are needed most where God is tugging at you to help. This is not ultimately determined by studying population densities, social strata, prevalence of orphans, amount of education or Christian population in various parts of the world. I believe strongly in doing these kinds of research, but even more strongly in listening for the voice of the Spirit, living and praying and serving daily in the situations close to you today. If and when God wishes to use you differently, and you do not allow fear or selfishness to misdirect you, you will make future decisions wisely and confidently.
I close with these classic verses from the Bible.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5, 6, Today’s New International Version
I assume that most of you reading this desire to help others. I hope all of you do. In our better moments, at least, most of us want to do acts of mercy and kindness, and want to see justice prevail on earth. For all who are serious disciples of Jesus, or long to be, the tugs on our hearts are especially persistent and varied. This is good, and reflects our Father’s heart of compassion, outreach, reconciliation, and blessings toward all people, both now and forever.
There is no question in my mind that you are needed to help the needy, even though I may never have met you. I say this for two reasons: conditions around you and around the world, and your unique qualities and abilities. Malnutrition, oppression, cruelty, sickness and anguish of every kind—these circumstances (possibly much closer to you and me than we realize) cry out for someone to come into their midst bringing justice and showing mercy.
The English word “need” has descended through a background of an Indo-European term meaning “to collapse with weariness” and a Welsh term meaning “starvation.” The hurts and longings of people everywhere demonstrate that you are needed—urgently.
The second reason you are needed is because of your unique qualities and abilities. Every person is different from every other person. It is not always flattery or hyperbole when someone says “you are unique.” It’s true of everyone. Your character, personality, skills, and, most of all—in believers—your hunger for truth, righteousness and God himself makes you just the right person to help specific people in specific situations.
The Bible says that all followers of Jesus Christ have gifts that are to be used in the church and in the world (Romans 12:1-13; 1 Corinthians 12:1-11; 1 Peter 4:7-11). Many of you reading this have some idea of your primary gift. God does not want this to be a great mystery, but wants to reveal to you how you are especially suited to serve. I generally tell people to ask three questions about a gift or skill they think they may have:
(1) Do you enjoy using this gift?
(2) Have others said that you seem to have this gift?
(3) Have you seen fruit (evidence; good results) when you use this gift?
If so, then continue to develop and use this gift to meet the needs on this crying planet. You are a gifted person, and you yourself are a gift!
But, who needs you the most? Should your decision be influenced by geography (do the “neediest” nations require you most?), family or acquaintances (should you help those you know best?), or the heinousness of the evil you wish to eradicate (human trafficking, for example)? Or is your local church where you are needed most?
I have no precise scientific formula or series of tests to lead you to the ministry and people who need you most. The best thing to do is to look around you right now, while keeping your eyes and heart open to the ends of the earth. Begin somewhere, somehow, if only by making a phone call or visit to some needy person. Perhaps work with a group where your skills are combined with those of others. And always think of the needs in your local church.
To answer our original question: you are needed most where God is tugging at you to help. This is not ultimately determined by studying population densities, social strata, prevalence of orphans, amount of education or Christian population in various parts of the world. I believe strongly in doing these kinds of research, but even more strongly in listening for the voice of the Spirit, living and praying and serving daily in the situations close to you today. If and when God wishes to use you differently, and you do not allow fear or selfishness to misdirect you, you will make future decisions wisely and confidently.
I close with these classic verses from the Bible.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5, 6, Today’s New International Version
Saturday, October 24, 2009
As Time Passes By
Bob Rakestraw
I have been having a rough time lately. Some of you have been too. I wish it were not so. But, here we are, and life keeps passing by—one day at a time. As I am writing this, the day is almost done, and I will never live this day again. Perhaps I can write something that will help both you and me to live out our days well. This is my desire and prayer.
Probably the biggest source of difficulty over the past few months has to do with my health. I am not speaking here of specific medical symptoms in themselves, but of the accompanying issues that surround and intertwine with physical problems. Emotional, volitional, interpersonal, and spiritual facets of chronic illness are every bit as much a part of experience as my specific medical condition—transplant vasculopathy, due to my body’s chronic rejection of the “new” heart (now six years in its present home).
I now have a new cardiologist. My previous one, who has guided me since before the transplant, moved to a position in another city. I have had some difficulties adjusting to the new doctor, one reason being that he ordered a number of major tests, yet spent no time discussing the results with me. Instead, he ordered exercise, so I am now going to cardiac rehab when I am able. He is getting to know me as I am getting to know him, and that will take time. Perhaps I am too sensitive. I do know that a change of transplant cardiologist, after six-and-a-half years, is major.
My previous cardiologist understood me and my condition quite well, and had concluded that the disease progressing in my heart arteries will not be reversed to any appreciable extent, and will eventually lead to a major heart attack or attacks. My new doctor hasn’t contradicted these conclusions, but has focused (so far) on exercise and more medications. I will certainly be glad for any improvement.
I write the above not to malign the doctor in any way. We have met only twice. He seems to be a likeable guy, with much knowledge and a lifetime of experience. I say these things to provide one window into a roomful of issues and effects. This new relationship has raised or reawakened spiritual and psychological matters within me that I am seeking to resolve.
I feel a bit foolish writing the above. It’s actually not about the doctor, but about my need for understanding and empathy. Since I try to write about how things really are, not about how things should be, I am writing what I have been feeling.
After 25 years of heart problems I have become not only weary of tests, procedures, blood draws, doctor visits, medications, hospitals, IV’s and surgeries, but I have also become cautious—even wary—of medical opinions and recommendations. I am almost as suspicious of “natural” remedies and supplements. I try, however, to discern what is helpful from both the medical and alternative worlds, while all the time trusting God with the outcomes.
I am very thankful, frequently, for my doctors, nurses, medical technicians, my children, grandchildren and extended family, my friends, my wife, and especially my Lord and Savior. I do not want to leave the impression that I am ungrateful. I do need to acknowledge, though, that a certain spark has gone out of me over the past couple of years. Perhaps this is due to the cumulative, wearing-down effect of living with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I will never forget November 28, 2006, when after Judy and I spent two hours—unscheduled—with my cardiologist, we were told that my major invasive procedures that morning revealed chronic rejection of my heart, and nothing more could be done medically. I might have a few months or a few years to live.
Well, next month marks three years since that meeting, and I’m still here. I admit to bewilderment and discouragement, but I notice significant improvement in my attitude and mood since those very dark days in January of this year (written about earlier).
My biggest praise item concerns the small collateral vessels that are bringing oxygenated blood to my heart, even though one major artery to the pumper is 100% blocked by the vasculopathy, and four others are 75-90% blocked.
My biggest prayer request is that I will know how to use my time profitably. Even though I may have only a small amount of energy each day, I desire to use what I have to honor Jesus and extend his reign over the earth. Writing is my primary medium for this, and I need the perseverance and optimism to stay at my tasks.
I trust that I have said something that resonates with you, and will be of help in your set of circumstances. I close with these strong words from the epistle to the Hebrews (10:22-23).
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.”
I have been having a rough time lately. Some of you have been too. I wish it were not so. But, here we are, and life keeps passing by—one day at a time. As I am writing this, the day is almost done, and I will never live this day again. Perhaps I can write something that will help both you and me to live out our days well. This is my desire and prayer.
Probably the biggest source of difficulty over the past few months has to do with my health. I am not speaking here of specific medical symptoms in themselves, but of the accompanying issues that surround and intertwine with physical problems. Emotional, volitional, interpersonal, and spiritual facets of chronic illness are every bit as much a part of experience as my specific medical condition—transplant vasculopathy, due to my body’s chronic rejection of the “new” heart (now six years in its present home).
I now have a new cardiologist. My previous one, who has guided me since before the transplant, moved to a position in another city. I have had some difficulties adjusting to the new doctor, one reason being that he ordered a number of major tests, yet spent no time discussing the results with me. Instead, he ordered exercise, so I am now going to cardiac rehab when I am able. He is getting to know me as I am getting to know him, and that will take time. Perhaps I am too sensitive. I do know that a change of transplant cardiologist, after six-and-a-half years, is major.
My previous cardiologist understood me and my condition quite well, and had concluded that the disease progressing in my heart arteries will not be reversed to any appreciable extent, and will eventually lead to a major heart attack or attacks. My new doctor hasn’t contradicted these conclusions, but has focused (so far) on exercise and more medications. I will certainly be glad for any improvement.
I write the above not to malign the doctor in any way. We have met only twice. He seems to be a likeable guy, with much knowledge and a lifetime of experience. I say these things to provide one window into a roomful of issues and effects. This new relationship has raised or reawakened spiritual and psychological matters within me that I am seeking to resolve.
I feel a bit foolish writing the above. It’s actually not about the doctor, but about my need for understanding and empathy. Since I try to write about how things really are, not about how things should be, I am writing what I have been feeling.
After 25 years of heart problems I have become not only weary of tests, procedures, blood draws, doctor visits, medications, hospitals, IV’s and surgeries, but I have also become cautious—even wary—of medical opinions and recommendations. I am almost as suspicious of “natural” remedies and supplements. I try, however, to discern what is helpful from both the medical and alternative worlds, while all the time trusting God with the outcomes.
I am very thankful, frequently, for my doctors, nurses, medical technicians, my children, grandchildren and extended family, my friends, my wife, and especially my Lord and Savior. I do not want to leave the impression that I am ungrateful. I do need to acknowledge, though, that a certain spark has gone out of me over the past couple of years. Perhaps this is due to the cumulative, wearing-down effect of living with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I will never forget November 28, 2006, when after Judy and I spent two hours—unscheduled—with my cardiologist, we were told that my major invasive procedures that morning revealed chronic rejection of my heart, and nothing more could be done medically. I might have a few months or a few years to live.
Well, next month marks three years since that meeting, and I’m still here. I admit to bewilderment and discouragement, but I notice significant improvement in my attitude and mood since those very dark days in January of this year (written about earlier).
My biggest praise item concerns the small collateral vessels that are bringing oxygenated blood to my heart, even though one major artery to the pumper is 100% blocked by the vasculopathy, and four others are 75-90% blocked.
My biggest prayer request is that I will know how to use my time profitably. Even though I may have only a small amount of energy each day, I desire to use what I have to honor Jesus and extend his reign over the earth. Writing is my primary medium for this, and I need the perseverance and optimism to stay at my tasks.
I trust that I have said something that resonates with you, and will be of help in your set of circumstances. I close with these strong words from the epistle to the Hebrews (10:22-23).
“Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful.”
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Ramblings from My Readings
Bob Rakestraw
Here are some books I read during 2008, with the annotations I wrote when I finished each. I thought I’d post them, since I appreciate the comments of others about materials they’ve read. Happy reading!
Post your books also—you may benefit others.
• Jim Kerwin, The Rejected Blessing: An Untold Story of the Early Days of the Pentecostal Movement. Foreword by Vinson Synan. (Mpls.: OTC Publishers, 2003), 95 pp. paper.
The story of division within the Pentecostal movement concerning the Wesleyan doctrine of entire sanctification—how the “second blessing” has mostly become a “rejected blessing” among the majority of Pentecostals. A well-written study of how William Durham’s “finished work” view came to be the dominant view. This is a book I would like to read again.
• E. Stanley Jones, The Divine Yes (Nashville: Abingdon, 1975), 160 pp. paper.
The last of the 28 books written by the well-known Methodist missionary to India. Written in the 14 months between a major stroke and his death. Excellent autobiographical account of his sufferings and how he managed to live with them by the grace of God.
• W. Phillip Keller, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970), 141 pp. handbook.
An excellent study of Psalm 23 by an actual shepherd. I remember Phil Keller (father of Lynn Keller, a classmate of Judy and me at Prairie Bible Institute) delivering these lessons live at the Prairie Tabernacle. These observations on sheep and similarities to Christian living are powerful, especially the one overarching truth that God is our all-loving and all-wise shepherd and cares for us with the greatest concern and detail always. I have benefited greatly from all of Keller’s books.
• William P. Young, The Shack (Los Angeles: Windblown Media, 2007), 248 pp, paper.
Surely this is one of the most unusual books I have ever read. It is “Christian Fiction,” and was #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. This guy, Mack, spent a weekend with God in a shack in Oregon, and records his conversations and activities with God. The best features, in my opinion, are the author’s presentation of the Trinity—a very “social,” delightfully interpersonal “trio,” and his way of viewing godly relationships. One weakness is that there is little speaking of evil in the sense of wickedness that calls down the wrath of God in judgment. It is fiction, of course, and not a theology book. Keeping this in mind, I believe the reader can be greatly encouraged in his or her Christian life by reading this book.
• Joyce Landorf, Silent September (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1984), 64 pp., hardback.
The author suffered severe pain from TMJ (temporomandibular joint stress dysfunction), and writes very plainly and specifically about it. It is a very helpful book about suffering except for the very serious error near the end: God cannot do anything to defeat the pain. God is presently limited. “I know You would heal me now if you could. I know my pain is utterly frustrating to you,” she says to God (p. 57).
This raises the age-old “problem of evil.” Either God is able to take away the pain, and does not, or he is not able even though he is willing. The three seemingly contradictory truths are that there is genuine pain, God loves us greatly, and God is all powerful. Which of these three must be compromised for there to be a “logical” answer to the problem of evil? I argue that none must be given up: God is all-powerful, God is all-good, and genuine evil exists. All three are true, but Landorf gives up the first, that God is all-powerful. God can’t take away the suffering. This ruined the book for me, in a sense, but I find much value in the rest of it.
• Sue McRoberts, The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained Me During Postpartum Depression. (Mustang, OK: Tate Publishing, 2007), 178 pp., paperback.
This is a very informative, stimulating, and encouraging book. Judy brought it home from the church library. I saw it and read it and am very glad I did. While the topic does not, obviously, affect me, the book as a whole (and in parts) is a superb account of depression—its awful effects and God’s powerful working. I read it eagerly and benefited much. It is a good piece to put into the hands of those suffering in any way. Thank you, Lord, for this author’s honesty, and for your restoring powers.
• Don Piper with Cecil Murphey, 90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death and Life. (MI: Revell, 2004), 206 pp., paperback.
A remarkable book, but not because of Piper’s account of his experiences in heaven, as he describes them (this part of the book is just two out of 18 chapters), but because of his very honest and detailed account of his recovery from a horrible car accident. According to Piper, he died in the car accident, and then went to heaven for 90 minutes. The two chapters on heaven speak of three things in particular: light, music, and relationships (he was with many of his friends and relatives).
The book helped me greatly because I could relate to many of the problems and moods he experienced in his 13 months of initial recovery (the accident occurred on Jan. 18, 1989, and his recovery took years; he lives in constant pain even now, and will never truly “recover”). I am so glad I read this book (another one that Judy brought home from church—borrowed from a friend).
I think that this book, and Amy Carmichael’s Rose from Briar are the two books that I have related to most in the years since my heart transplant.
Thank you, Lord!
Here are some books I read during 2008, with the annotations I wrote when I finished each. I thought I’d post them, since I appreciate the comments of others about materials they’ve read. Happy reading!
Post your books also—you may benefit others.
• Jim Kerwin, The Rejected Blessing: An Untold Story of the Early Days of the Pentecostal Movement. Foreword by Vinson Synan. (Mpls.: OTC Publishers, 2003), 95 pp. paper.
The story of division within the Pentecostal movement concerning the Wesleyan doctrine of entire sanctification—how the “second blessing” has mostly become a “rejected blessing” among the majority of Pentecostals. A well-written study of how William Durham’s “finished work” view came to be the dominant view. This is a book I would like to read again.
• E. Stanley Jones, The Divine Yes (Nashville: Abingdon, 1975), 160 pp. paper.
The last of the 28 books written by the well-known Methodist missionary to India. Written in the 14 months between a major stroke and his death. Excellent autobiographical account of his sufferings and how he managed to live with them by the grace of God.
• W. Phillip Keller, A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970), 141 pp. handbook.
An excellent study of Psalm 23 by an actual shepherd. I remember Phil Keller (father of Lynn Keller, a classmate of Judy and me at Prairie Bible Institute) delivering these lessons live at the Prairie Tabernacle. These observations on sheep and similarities to Christian living are powerful, especially the one overarching truth that God is our all-loving and all-wise shepherd and cares for us with the greatest concern and detail always. I have benefited greatly from all of Keller’s books.
• William P. Young, The Shack (Los Angeles: Windblown Media, 2007), 248 pp, paper.
Surely this is one of the most unusual books I have ever read. It is “Christian Fiction,” and was #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. This guy, Mack, spent a weekend with God in a shack in Oregon, and records his conversations and activities with God. The best features, in my opinion, are the author’s presentation of the Trinity—a very “social,” delightfully interpersonal “trio,” and his way of viewing godly relationships. One weakness is that there is little speaking of evil in the sense of wickedness that calls down the wrath of God in judgment. It is fiction, of course, and not a theology book. Keeping this in mind, I believe the reader can be greatly encouraged in his or her Christian life by reading this book.
• Joyce Landorf, Silent September (Waco, TX: Word Books, 1984), 64 pp., hardback.
The author suffered severe pain from TMJ (temporomandibular joint stress dysfunction), and writes very plainly and specifically about it. It is a very helpful book about suffering except for the very serious error near the end: God cannot do anything to defeat the pain. God is presently limited. “I know You would heal me now if you could. I know my pain is utterly frustrating to you,” she says to God (p. 57).
This raises the age-old “problem of evil.” Either God is able to take away the pain, and does not, or he is not able even though he is willing. The three seemingly contradictory truths are that there is genuine pain, God loves us greatly, and God is all powerful. Which of these three must be compromised for there to be a “logical” answer to the problem of evil? I argue that none must be given up: God is all-powerful, God is all-good, and genuine evil exists. All three are true, but Landorf gives up the first, that God is all-powerful. God can’t take away the suffering. This ruined the book for me, in a sense, but I find much value in the rest of it.
• Sue McRoberts, The Lifter of My Head: How God Sustained Me During Postpartum Depression. (Mustang, OK: Tate Publishing, 2007), 178 pp., paperback.
This is a very informative, stimulating, and encouraging book. Judy brought it home from the church library. I saw it and read it and am very glad I did. While the topic does not, obviously, affect me, the book as a whole (and in parts) is a superb account of depression—its awful effects and God’s powerful working. I read it eagerly and benefited much. It is a good piece to put into the hands of those suffering in any way. Thank you, Lord, for this author’s honesty, and for your restoring powers.
• Don Piper with Cecil Murphey, 90 Minutes in Heaven: A True Story of Death and Life. (MI: Revell, 2004), 206 pp., paperback.
A remarkable book, but not because of Piper’s account of his experiences in heaven, as he describes them (this part of the book is just two out of 18 chapters), but because of his very honest and detailed account of his recovery from a horrible car accident. According to Piper, he died in the car accident, and then went to heaven for 90 minutes. The two chapters on heaven speak of three things in particular: light, music, and relationships (he was with many of his friends and relatives).
The book helped me greatly because I could relate to many of the problems and moods he experienced in his 13 months of initial recovery (the accident occurred on Jan. 18, 1989, and his recovery took years; he lives in constant pain even now, and will never truly “recover”). I am so glad I read this book (another one that Judy brought home from church—borrowed from a friend).
I think that this book, and Amy Carmichael’s Rose from Briar are the two books that I have related to most in the years since my heart transplant.
Thank you, Lord!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Do You Care, God?
Bob Rakestraw
Recently I spent four days in the hospital. I was admitted from the emergency room after my wife took me in for severe abdominal pain. It was basically a time of tests and consultations with doctors, more about heart than abdominal issues. Some of the test results were a bit encouraging and others were inconclusive. I came home with three new medications—just what I wanted! I also have more major tests and doctor visits in the weeks ahead concerning my heart. I left quite bewildered over the whole ordeal.
Chronic problems are difficult to deal with. Whether they are physical, mental, financial, spiritual, relational or some other kind of difficulty, if they are long-lasting they become tough to handle. There is a very real wearing-down effect of chronic trials. I have experienced this effect for many years, especially since my heart transplant in 2003, and especially in 2009. At the present time I am experiencing significant problems with breathing.
In the hospital, and in the days since I’ve returned home, I have been thinking about many things. Here are two of them.
1. It is good to have your Bible with you in the hospital. I did not have mine when I went into ER, but my wife brought it to me after I was admitted. I was greatly helped by the apostle Paul’s last recorded words in 2 Timothy 4: “The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength,” and “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.” I also read: “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship.” This last exhortation did not come across to me as harsh and unfeeling, but simply as God telling me what I needed to do. The text, rather than stressing me, actually strengthened me and enabled me to get through the hospital stay. I know that God truly does care.
2. Yielding, not fighting, is the way to peace. By yielding I mean accepting from God. Over the years I have struggled, as a theology professor and in my own life, concerning the origin of troubles. Are they from Satan and his cohorts? Are they from human beings primarily? Are they from my own mistakes and sins? Are they basically due to the reality that we are natural and fallen beings, living in a natural and fallen world? Or are they from God?
I will not be looking into each of these five possibilities, but I believe that troubles may come from any of these categories, and often from a combination of two or more of them. The biggest question to me concerns the matter of God’s involvement. Does God send us troubles directly? Does he simply allow them? Or is it that God is powerless to prevent them or to deal with them?
I totally reject the last possibility, even though I have read so-called theologians who hold to it. The real issue to me is how much God is involved in sending and/or permitting the trouble. My study of God’s word leads me to believe that, while God at times may directly send troubles to people (for example, causing a tree limb to fall on one’s head) for their good (to knock sense into them, perhaps), most of our problems come from the other sources listed above. Yet there is no doubt that God knows about them before they happen, and he allows them. Job’s trials and Paul’s thorn in the flesh are examples of this.
Concerning my own health matters, I accept them from God in this sense. I yield to God and to my God-allowed troubles. I no longer fight the health problems. Some may see this as a cop-out, and that I am giving up the battle in order to attain a false sense of contentment. Where is the fight to get better? Since Buddhists consider desire to be the root of all unhappiness, am I not capitulating to this Buddhist philosophy of life?
I admit that I have sometimes lowered my expectations or tossed them out entirely regarding some matters, so that I will not continue to be disappointed. Too much desire can be destructive. But this is not the kind of yielding or acceptance I am experiencing. I am not passively waiting for the next body-blow. I don’t want to be a punching bag. My yielding (in my better moments, at least) is a positive, active, robust trust in God’s wisdom and goodness. While he has all power, he allows difficulties so that I may be conformed to the likeness of Christ and may be of most use in expanding God’s reign in the earth. In the long run, this does the most good for people and the most good for me. God care for me, and for you!
I close with one verse from the Psalms that came to me over and over in the hospital. I offer it to you with grace: “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him.”
Recently I spent four days in the hospital. I was admitted from the emergency room after my wife took me in for severe abdominal pain. It was basically a time of tests and consultations with doctors, more about heart than abdominal issues. Some of the test results were a bit encouraging and others were inconclusive. I came home with three new medications—just what I wanted! I also have more major tests and doctor visits in the weeks ahead concerning my heart. I left quite bewildered over the whole ordeal.
Chronic problems are difficult to deal with. Whether they are physical, mental, financial, spiritual, relational or some other kind of difficulty, if they are long-lasting they become tough to handle. There is a very real wearing-down effect of chronic trials. I have experienced this effect for many years, especially since my heart transplant in 2003, and especially in 2009. At the present time I am experiencing significant problems with breathing.
In the hospital, and in the days since I’ve returned home, I have been thinking about many things. Here are two of them.
1. It is good to have your Bible with you in the hospital. I did not have mine when I went into ER, but my wife brought it to me after I was admitted. I was greatly helped by the apostle Paul’s last recorded words in 2 Timothy 4: “The Lord stood at my side and gave me strength,” and “The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.” I also read: “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship.” This last exhortation did not come across to me as harsh and unfeeling, but simply as God telling me what I needed to do. The text, rather than stressing me, actually strengthened me and enabled me to get through the hospital stay. I know that God truly does care.
2. Yielding, not fighting, is the way to peace. By yielding I mean accepting from God. Over the years I have struggled, as a theology professor and in my own life, concerning the origin of troubles. Are they from Satan and his cohorts? Are they from human beings primarily? Are they from my own mistakes and sins? Are they basically due to the reality that we are natural and fallen beings, living in a natural and fallen world? Or are they from God?
I will not be looking into each of these five possibilities, but I believe that troubles may come from any of these categories, and often from a combination of two or more of them. The biggest question to me concerns the matter of God’s involvement. Does God send us troubles directly? Does he simply allow them? Or is it that God is powerless to prevent them or to deal with them?
I totally reject the last possibility, even though I have read so-called theologians who hold to it. The real issue to me is how much God is involved in sending and/or permitting the trouble. My study of God’s word leads me to believe that, while God at times may directly send troubles to people (for example, causing a tree limb to fall on one’s head) for their good (to knock sense into them, perhaps), most of our problems come from the other sources listed above. Yet there is no doubt that God knows about them before they happen, and he allows them. Job’s trials and Paul’s thorn in the flesh are examples of this.
Concerning my own health matters, I accept them from God in this sense. I yield to God and to my God-allowed troubles. I no longer fight the health problems. Some may see this as a cop-out, and that I am giving up the battle in order to attain a false sense of contentment. Where is the fight to get better? Since Buddhists consider desire to be the root of all unhappiness, am I not capitulating to this Buddhist philosophy of life?
I admit that I have sometimes lowered my expectations or tossed them out entirely regarding some matters, so that I will not continue to be disappointed. Too much desire can be destructive. But this is not the kind of yielding or acceptance I am experiencing. I am not passively waiting for the next body-blow. I don’t want to be a punching bag. My yielding (in my better moments, at least) is a positive, active, robust trust in God’s wisdom and goodness. While he has all power, he allows difficulties so that I may be conformed to the likeness of Christ and may be of most use in expanding God’s reign in the earth. In the long run, this does the most good for people and the most good for me. God care for me, and for you!
I close with one verse from the Psalms that came to me over and over in the hospital. I offer it to you with grace: “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him.”
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Are You There, God
Bob Rakestraw
Sometimes people wonder if God is really “there.” They know he exists, but they would like to feel and experience God’s presence. They know their hope is based on facts, not feelings, but they still would like to sense the presence of God sometimes.
I have no infallible answer, but there are four things I do regularly (daily) that help me a lot in this area. They may help you.
1. I read and/or meditate a lot in the scriptures—not so much quantitatively as qualitatively. I chew on my favorite texts over and over, memorizing them and repeating them often. I underline a lot in my Bible. One of my favorite all-time verses is James 4:8—“come near to God and he will come near to you." God wants us to take the initiative; sometimes it's just a few words to him and he comes near.
2. I say "Thank You" to God several times a day—maybe 6-10 times a day. I mostly thank him for the eternal realities in my life, such as forgiveness of my sins of commission, omission, and disposition; genuine peace and hope, for today, tomorrow, and the whole future (based on the verifiable fact that God has never let me down one day in my life); as well as the daily, material and spiritual blessings I experience—relationships with family, people in my church community, money to buy food and pay the bills.
3. I visualize Jesus standing right in front of me or next to me. Somehow I never picture him sitting, but daily I make the effort (it takes very little once this becomes a habit, which is true of the other items mentioned) to look at the space in front of me and say, "Thank you Lord for being here," or something like that. I do it with my eyes open, in faith, and Jesus always shows up. Somehow I believe he is actually there, looking serious but not stern, and sometimes with a slight smile. But I don't so much think of specific facial features, but just the outline of his form being there, visible in my mind but not my eyes. This is very real.
4. I confess sin throughout the day, as I need to, as soon as I become aware of the fact that I am grieving the Lord in some way—thought, word, or deed. I do this, not to stay saved, to be saved, or to avoid God's wrath, but because I have displeased my best friend, and I want to get back in fellowship with him. I especially rest on the truth of 1 John 1 (the last few verses) and 2 (the first couple of verses).
Well, these are my habits. I trust that each of you will know God personally as well as cognitively.
Sometimes people wonder if God is really “there.” They know he exists, but they would like to feel and experience God’s presence. They know their hope is based on facts, not feelings, but they still would like to sense the presence of God sometimes.
I have no infallible answer, but there are four things I do regularly (daily) that help me a lot in this area. They may help you.
1. I read and/or meditate a lot in the scriptures—not so much quantitatively as qualitatively. I chew on my favorite texts over and over, memorizing them and repeating them often. I underline a lot in my Bible. One of my favorite all-time verses is James 4:8—“come near to God and he will come near to you." God wants us to take the initiative; sometimes it's just a few words to him and he comes near.
2. I say "Thank You" to God several times a day—maybe 6-10 times a day. I mostly thank him for the eternal realities in my life, such as forgiveness of my sins of commission, omission, and disposition; genuine peace and hope, for today, tomorrow, and the whole future (based on the verifiable fact that God has never let me down one day in my life); as well as the daily, material and spiritual blessings I experience—relationships with family, people in my church community, money to buy food and pay the bills.
3. I visualize Jesus standing right in front of me or next to me. Somehow I never picture him sitting, but daily I make the effort (it takes very little once this becomes a habit, which is true of the other items mentioned) to look at the space in front of me and say, "Thank you Lord for being here," or something like that. I do it with my eyes open, in faith, and Jesus always shows up. Somehow I believe he is actually there, looking serious but not stern, and sometimes with a slight smile. But I don't so much think of specific facial features, but just the outline of his form being there, visible in my mind but not my eyes. This is very real.
4. I confess sin throughout the day, as I need to, as soon as I become aware of the fact that I am grieving the Lord in some way—thought, word, or deed. I do this, not to stay saved, to be saved, or to avoid God's wrath, but because I have displeased my best friend, and I want to get back in fellowship with him. I especially rest on the truth of 1 John 1 (the last few verses) and 2 (the first couple of verses).
Well, these are my habits. I trust that each of you will know God personally as well as cognitively.
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